How do i heal when an abusive ex played me?

How do i heal when an abusive ex played me?
I had an abusive ex who was 13 years older than me. Nobody understood why I was with him. He wasn’t very attractive, had no money, no truck (until I lend him money), no good job..just side jobs, and a rinky dink shack. I looked through his phone and he would be communicating w girls. I saw a car over at his house one night which he claimed was his cousins. I helped him out…kept my figure together and was supportive and sweet. He would cut me down with words and I tried to fight back and argue but it was exhausting. He tried to control me and broke me down emotionally.

So the same car that I saw at his house that night has been there a few times when I’ve road by. Everytime its there I’m not talking to him, or I broke up with him. I told him I met someone new, and he would call me and tell me he wanted to see me and j*cks off to me in the shower,,,its all he can think about. A few times I would get a panicky feeling that he met someone else and that I can’t handle it and it caused me to drink. I’ve gotten a hold on my drinking problem,I’m getting help but after one night of calling him on private calls when I knew she was there I had a friend call him and tell him I was in a car accident. I thought that would cure my crazy thoughts but he was calling my phone like he was very worried. A few weeks later, I told him I was ok and he told me that I had problems and he is “kinda”: with someone else now and hes happy now and he couldn’t wait around for me. #1 he was always cheating on me, #2 broke me down emotionally all the time, kicked me out of his house…He says it was MY fault and its all me. Now I’m an obssessive mess even though I haven’t shown it to him. I want to go back to the person I was before I met him but I wonder if hes treating her better? If there was something wrong with me? How do I look at it from a better standpoint to just get over him? He gives me an awful feelng because I thought we were in love and he took so much energy from me.
How do I deal when I feel like I miss him? Did he manipulate me to feel this way. I’m the girl that guys look at and think I seem perfect but now he’s messed up my head. I want to be happy again.
Best Answer:
Consider it nothing more than a wild aberration on your life

and then use your experience positively and advise others about the horrors of any situation that resembles your horrible experience.

Yahoo answers is a good place to be that warning guardian angel to others.

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